May as well play hard, and be kind. MMMlifestyle Because I enjoy moderate living for its own sake, my own cost of living will go way down. Ill leave you with one of my favorite jokes: The flipside of all this is that many, many people are currently married, who should not be and dont want to be. I wish you nothing but the best in 2019 and appreciate every blog post you gift to us. December 31, 2018, 5:44 pm. That cant be easy to do with some people being what they are. I know the hurt, especially at those times when you kiss your kids goodbye until your next assigned custody day(s) to spend with them, and how quiet the house can seem when its just you and your thoughts. Im excited to read about the new home, Airbnb, and all the positive possibilities that you are growing into if you choose to share. This post inspired a talk with my husband. Two people can peacefully collect up their financial and physical belongings and go their separate ways, and the only cost is in any duplication of possessions you choose to do, to replace things you formerly shared. Contact me if youd like to learn more. What a powerful post for a hungover new years day. This section of writing resonated with me also: Most of us (myself included) drift through the years, assuming we are doing a perfectly good job at being married, while unintentionally making all the same mistakes that everyone else makes.. And we can collect bathtubs full of sympathetic tears from our friends. I dont know if thats very fair What are the rates of happily single people? If one kid was acting sassy or sullen all of a sudden, I collaborated with my ex. On a sunny September morning in downtown Longmont, Colo., 80 or so people are packed into the Mr. Money Mustache headquarters. The downfalls of our own relationship are personal and not something we choose to make public, but youve heard it all before anyway. My guess it was too personal to share. My divorce and loss of five kids was the biggest tragedy of my life but has led to the best thing in life: a solid and reliable relationship with God that brings peace and eventually a new marriage. because I already have bikes Love it. This article describes an anomalous social space within the field of homelessness in San Francisco, that of "pro" recyclers, homeless men who spend much of their time collecting recyclables for redemption. It doesnt cost much, gets you out into nature, and introduces you to others with similar interests. And the fact that you can live so close and still have a great relationship is a sliver lining. Im grateful to you for helping me get time off for good behavior. Like most financial advisors, Mr. Money Mustache encourages investors to grow their wealth with total market or S&P 500 passive index funds. Perhaps this created internal turmoil. I hope your divorce is a step towards that, but I would wait to date again if I were you. Our friends and families had so many questions when we announced our separation there were no major injuries, no addiction, no betrayals. My city also has a FIRE Facebook group that meets monthly in person. I never would have expected that early retirement was possible with you. They told me, so change that or dont be that guy. Im just not sure I think your numbers tell the whole story. Although we had been drifting this way for a while, the formal change of our status is still less than a year old, so its still a topic that deserves some quiet respect*. The decision was easy, but the process and action was insanely difficult. Logistics matter a lot more than people realize, and this will ensure you see each other more often than if you lived a car ride away. but divorce is hard and economically its often devastating so Im pleased its a topic on here, even if there are not many divorcing couples who will find themselves in similar financial circumstances. The opportunity cost of fighting is way too high in these situations. I found your MMMness in December of 2o15 along with other folks out there who were writing about minimalism, finance, relationships, etc. My prior career doesnt exist in the US. He and his former wife worked for some time in the standard tech industry, then took retirement and have established themselves to be the most successful bloggers. Anonymous I left the Nissan Leaf behind and chose not to buy a car of my own because I already have bikes. Sammykins Having seen the documentary, Divorce, Inc. Im very happy you are settling this amicably and without spending the average 40K plus as expected. Yes, if you get in that 22% (or whatever it is precisely) you are super glad. While I cant recommend any particular book, if youre looking for a great place to discuss this with other FIRE-minded women, check out http://www.reddit.com/r/FIREyFemmes. Now THAT would be Unmustachian. Toggle navigation. Everyone looks at the divorce rate, but nobody looks at the happily married rate when talking about marriages. NFTE-national entrepreneurship organization Accept the temporary setbacks, wait out the storms and keep moving forward. Hit the gym, go for a run, have lunch with a friend, read that inspiring book, listen to that light-humored podcast, integrate yourself back into life and let it take shape. And finally there is the famedfinancial costof divorce. I wish all three of you the very best. Your statement that even the harshest moments come with a little golden key taped secretly onto their side rings true. Those are pretty bad odds. Sorry that you and Mrs. MMM had to go through this breakup. Anonymous, December 31, 2018, 8:05 pm. This can drastically increase your hourly earnings. Thank you. You gave me strength, hope, wisdom, vital knowledge and something to aspire to. Hope 2019 works out well for all of you. DAYS LA long beach program to bring adults back into the work-force No judgment here. And for those being nagged: you cannotignorethe requests of your partner for years, and expectthemto forgive you for that either. And it is important for these people to hear that although divorce is always difficult, sometimes it really is the best choice and there should not be shame or blame associated with this choice. Im most encouraged with this line though: Most of us (myself included) drift through the years, assuming we are doing a perfectly good job at being married, while unintentionally making all the same mistakes that everyone else makes.. It sounds as though youre both stellar role models. It seems so much easier for those who are deeply rooted in supportive, non/consumerist communities. Choosing to leave the work force for whatever reason is at least a bit easier for women, relative to men. Anyway, I agree with what youve said. December 31, 2018, 5:04 pm. Coming off the back of a divorce I often marvel that something so personally painful as a relationship breakdown was so text book and the issues so run of the mill. Many blessings to you and former Mrs. MMM, and to all of us out there in a new chapter! Im so sorry to hear about this. Here are some of the emotional impacts a divorce may have on a child: Young children often struggle to understand why they must go between two homes. BTW I want to add that tomorrow January 1 is the first day of the year I turn 55. Anonymous Do you think its good to have one? And after a few years, many former divorcees have moved on so happily that cant even believe that they were ever angry at each other. Sounds like you all done good. I liked how she put it best I was happy for 25 years but the 26th year was awful. Im so glad to hear you were able to find a suitable house nearby. If this is the only alternative. 2. My ex and I did the same. ; as my one and only quarter-of-a-century marriage had ended earlier in the year. But throughout all of it, we always have achoiceabout how to deal with them. Speaking as a 21-year divorcee, life gets better and better as time goes on. Living 2.5 minutes away by bike is a pretty close distance! You need your objective reminders to stay sane. worked through the do-it-yourself paperwork and paid a $265 fee to the county court for the divorce. You may have to examine whether or not you can afford to live in your current home. December 31, 2018, 5:17 pm. [To the haters: You wanna judge? It was ridiculous and my spouse and I laughed while I was crying, but Ive been envious of your life for a long time. Your story made me think about my situation and motivated me to let my spouse how much I appreciate what she does every day. Maybe she got tired of Mustachianism. My income ranges from $15(very slow monday)-$80(very busy Saturday night) with the average hovering around $25-30. We spent whatever we wanted, we just happened to have finite desires. It can be done. And put the happy face back on, and start behaving like an adult again. I am hoping to start the Moustache journey tomorrow. Reach out to this community online. Stay true to you and sending all my love to you, your wife and your son. And we can fight back, chasing the unfair person or company or situation and getrevenge. Mr. Money Mustache retired in his early thirties and has recently emerged as one of the most inspiring personal finance authors in cyberspace. Unfortunately, there is no account by Lewis that Im aware of in which he shares his own story. Here are some of the reasons I've heard why MMM probably got a divorce: 1) Guilt and conflict. First of all, there is the effect on yourchild raising, which is a parents most important job in life. Spark-youth 10-week career mentorship program Complaints and insults generally wont make the cut here, but by all means write them on your own blog! Makes a lot of sense. January 2, 2019, 6:21 am. I keep telling myself it's cheaper than a divorce. If I was as strict as he was, I'd definitely be divorced by now. They released five studio albums before their dissolution in 1970 and her divorce from John. Mr. Leung, who invested through the Great Recession, added: "There was a lot more reason to be scared in 2008. December 31, 2018, 6:49 pm. So anyway, what I wanted to say is that I came across your funny and enlightening Blog and I could see a way out my mess, Im older but I can still apply the FIRE plan and retire well at normal retirement age but I can try and make it happen in 5-10 years, thats what really has me super focused now. etc. There are a lot of resourceful folks here willing to help. Please do take the best possible care of yourself. Our members range from young folks just starting their journey to financial independence, military retirees and even multimillionaires. Thank you. Both of us can remain retired and continue to live in mortgage-free houses with investments easily covering our living expenses, while sharing child raising expenses. You got me on track to live life from a position of strength and positivity. And reflected very badly on those taking part. Alana (volunteering organizations), Thanks for your words and all the best! Dear MMM, sorry to hear what a year its been and I admire the grace with which you and your family have made the best of one of lifes curveballs. Mr. Money Mustache shares his early retirement secrets in an interview for the new Financial Independence Podcast! It is not something that any wives like to see. Thank you for the courageous post. Last week I saw a thread where someone was planning on spending $150K for a fashion degree. For more casual sampling, have a look at this complete list of all posts since the beginning of time or download the mobile app.