No one else but my partner saw how similar he was to our son. So obviously quite relaxed. Where we have identified any third party copyright information you will need to obtain permission from the copyright holders concerned. Originally I hadn't wanted to go down that road. So when that happened to us I really didn't worry, I thought, you know, it was literally the baby was in awkward position, they couldn't see the heart and that was why. They would then re-test me in two days time. Actually you could tell from the brain development as he scanned up through the chambers of the brain, that one quarter of the brain, one chamber was not evident. The weeks since that day have been very weird. It feels very lonely and isolating. This article was amended on 24 November 2015 to anonymise the writer. I loved him instantly and didn't want to let him go. My heart goes out to you OP. And they took me to another room and they explained that the baby had what they thought was ventriculomegaly or something. I was sent home with a leaflet, strong painkillers and two types of antibiotics. So we decided to book an early 10 week private scan. I should stop being dramatic and pessimistic. I wasn't ready to make a decision straight away, and I was told I could call them in the morning. The baby kicked, blissfully unaware of what I had done. It was just a few little things like the kidneys were hard to find, and the stomach was hard to find, but that might be because it wasn't filled with fluid. In some cases concerns in utero fix themselves sometimes needs treatment. So I trusted him. Not a good sign in a hospital consulting room. Because, when you're angry with the world for dealing you such a shit time, you begin to hate the people who populate it. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor, midwife or hospital immediately. Thankfully I was met by an amazing sonographer, she was compassionate and understanding. And it was just a bit of a shock because it's not really what you want to hear - you don't really expect that. Previous scans in this pregnancy and with my first child had been fun - a chance to see the baby wriggling around and perhaps find out its sex. I felt the dread run through me. This publication is available at https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/screening-tests-for-you-and-your-baby/11-physical-conditions-20-week-scan. We thought it would all be over very quickly but, in fact, it was another 11 hours before the baby was delivered. The scan can provide information that may mean you have to make further, important decisions. And before they gave me any of the results she asked a colleague to come and told me she wanted to check something, with a colleague, and by then I was getting very concerned because I'd never had that happen before. As I waited for the doctor back on the EPU unit. Being generous and kind generally happens only when you're happy. So we left it there, and we didn't actually think that there was anything really to worry about after that scan. Our nightmare began when I went for my 20-week scan. Again, no notes can have been written down because the midwife asked the same question. It is as though our pain means we've earned the right to be taken more seriously. 2022. Like many things, the theory is very different from the reality. And I know I can't hurry up the process of grieving. You will be able to discuss this with your midwife or consultant. Back on the EPU unit, a doctor organised for me to be admitted into the ward, to take the medical management under supervision as the sac was now to big for me to safely miscarry on my own at home. He then told us what the prognosis would mean for the child. No, you couldn't see there was anything wrong. But now that's changed. That he was small. It took 20 minutes to push him out. You may need to have a full bladder when you come for the appointment. I am a darker, harder version of myself. But no. And I am slowly coming to terms with what has happened. That was an extremely difficult day. We'd just spent some time away on a, on a summer holiday and come back expecting to have this scan and be told, 'All fine. The 18 -20 week fetal anomaly scan is a watershed in most pregnancies because for the majority of women it will be the last time they are scanned before giving birth. We strongly advise readers not to take drugs that are not prescribed by your qualified healthcare provider. I just feel very unlucky. The doctor gave her consent, and I took the four little tablets. . Mumsnet carries some affiliate marketing links, so if you buy something through our posts, we may get a small share of the sale (more details here). I've realised that being a nice person is a luxury some can't afford. Nights were impossible. I could hardly breathe. I think they perhaps could have done, if they had looked a bit closely. 'Soft markers'. The hormone levels had dropped, but they wanted to scan me again. Wishing to be anywhere, but here being told the same agonising truth over and over again. Many parents were shocked by findings from the 20-week and later scans. It was all going wrong and I wanted to get as far away from the hospital as possible. Scans cannot find all conditions. And I wish that I'd been told at that point, that somebody had actually turned round to me and said, 'Look, I'm sorry, but I think there's something very wrong. This scan takes place between 18 weeks and 20 weeks 6 days of pregnancy and is commonly called the 20-week scan. Is it the same scan or is it the same equipment? Having the scan does not hurt but the sonographer may need to apply slight pressure to get the best views of your baby. And there [sighs] was a very dark patch over one, where the eye socket was, and they didn't know it, in the Edward's babies sometimes the eyes don't develop properly, or it might have been bleeding, they weren't very sure. Then I picked myself up. Again the legs were quite twisted, they said that the baby's sternum was very short - things weren't in proportion you know - the head was quite large, the neck was very thick, there wasn't really like a neck as such it was just things were kind of - there were lots of things that obviously the consultant could see that we weren't aware of. Sometimes specialist scans such as 3D scans, or MRI scans, are used to examine the baby in greater detail. Some parents wondered if it was possible to have the same scan done at 16 weeks rather than 20 weeks. So at least then we went to that next stage prepared for the worst really. Specialist scans are performed in specialist fetal units and if clinicians feel that there might be problems scanning will be done up to 32 weeks. You've had your, you know, you've had your triple test and everything was fine. But it was very evident. And in this instance the scan was very evident that there was something very seriously wrong. I think the whole experience has made me a pretty nasty person. I then found that soft markers means 'vague unproven suggestion of a link', and that echogenic locii are small concentrations of calcium which are incredibly common and harmless. I didn't want to be convincing him to agree with me. Yeah - in, stomach, out. It's quite common, perhaps 1 in 10 they find these, and within a few weeks they disappear. It's part of our family. I was becoming numb to the whole process. Usually, sonographers will ask a senior sonographer colleague to confirm findings and this should be done immediately. And I'm glad I did and she's glad she didn't. Most scans are carried out by specially trained staff called sonographers. I couldn't work out what was taking so long and put it down to the doctor being young and inexperienced. We had the same conversation, but obviously were not making any sense to her at all. And with each one we had to have the same conversations. Next most likely is that baby doesn't co-operate and they can't see some parts of anatomy and call you back 2 weeks later just because they couldn't see (i had this but because twin pregnancy I was due to be scanned 2 weeks later anyway). My wife had been very, very healthy, more healthy than the first pregnancy, and of course was shattered by the fact that the news, the news was appalling, very serious faces. The chances that anything bad will be discovered are v v small. But everything seemed fine and we'd been sitting waiting to see the consultant, and I'd had an examination on the bed. The consultant explained that this was just very bad luck and not, as far as they knew, genetic. As though I went power mad for a week, killing my innocent unborn child, and now I am tainted for ever. So I suppose from that aspect, mind you having not been told that or sitting there, I wouldn't have thought necessarily that was odd. I was young, I didn't need one. Has anyone been told the sex incorrectly at their 20 week scan? The blood test confirmed it was twins. And, it does not occur to you in the slightest. This was a ray of hope for us. After preparing myself to face having to take the medication. I came back probably about 17 weeks pregnant and had the anomaly scan at 20 weeks and like most people expected everything to be fine and to come away with a lovely picture but unfortunately that isn't what happened. Instead, we were shown to a room slightly away from the rest of the ward and the midwife stayed with us to talk through what was going to happen. I sat and waited to be called for my scan. We had the baby cremated. Severe chromosomal conditions such as Edwards' syndrome are now often picked up in the first trimester antenatal screening but itwill usually be more obviousat the 18- 20 week scan, though usually a firm diagnosis will not be made until one or two specialists have weighed up all available evidence about the baby - which usually means that another expert needs to scan the baby again, or until the woman has had an amniocentesis. And I assumed my partner would feel the same. And you could see, where you should have a picture of 4 chambers, you could really see 2. blood tests, CVS) were clear - and as one woman put it, 'after the triple test* (Down's syndrome screening) you stop thinking anything can go wrong'. My partner's face was lit up, seeing the baby for the first time. They sort of drew some diagrams, and they said, 'But we need to refer you to a specialist to confirm the diagnosis'. Please ask your hospital about this before your appointment. So instead, I was advised to go home and let nature take its course. Registered office: Nicholas House, 3 Laurence Pountney Hill, London, EC4R 0BB. Has anyone been told the wrong sex at 20 week scan? I thought surely everything is ok, as they couldn't detect twins the week before. She asked me how far gone I thought we were, and if I could have been mistaken. It felt like a lifetime to reach our 12-week-scan. Unfortunately I was not met with a compassionate sonographer. What happens at the second midwife appointment? How common is it for 2nd baby to come early..? I hated my body and hated every feeling I was having. For example, you may be offered further tests that have a risk of miscarriage. Apologise for somehow doubting their right to be in this world. The contractions started very quickly and within an hour my waters had broken. I wrote a few things down last night when we were trying to go over things, just to remind myself. I'm trying to understand because I haven't seen a 3-D scan, what it tells the parents? No one else ever met the object of my grief. And I, my husband and I both ran our own business at the time so we were desperate to get back and do some work, and things were going really well, so.. I feel empty and incomplete. I give pregnant women dirty looks. We talked all night and thanked God for crap television. The doctor didn't come. x. But before he could speak, he, too, had broken down. The 18-20 week antenatal scan and further tests, Ending the pregnancy for family & personal reasons, Deciding whether to see, hold and name the baby, Photographs and other mementoes of the baby, Saying goodbye to the baby - services & funerals, Coping with bereavement - women's experiences, Coping with bereavement - men's experiences, Men's ideas about their role in ending a pregnancy. Sam reassured me, but the guilt had hit me along with the feeling that our world was falling apart. The gel makes sure there is good contact between the probe and your skin. Some stories I hear are amazing! The doctor or midwife looking after you will let you know before you come. It seemed a very arbitrary system, and so you quite often sat outside in the waiting room for a couple of hours before you actually got to see the consultant, which was, seemed you know, I kind of remember thinking before we went in to see him on the particular day when we found out there was a problem, 'Why are we sitting here? Not marginalised into being a victim. It is essential that all practitioners performing fetal anomaly ultrasound screening should be trained to communicate abnormal findings to women, as such information is likely to have significant emotional impact. And that was scanning up from the above the head, then you were coming up through the child's head, so you were seeing the chambers in the brain, sort of it was evident in all four chambers of the brain, then suddenly one chamber was empty. While some parents understood the clinician's restraint - even when they had to wait an hour or more for a definite diagnosis - others disliked being kept in suspense and wanted to be told what the clinician was thinking. I know it sounds odd that you want to hear that it's wrong, but you, you know it's wrong, and you, you want to be reassured either that it's okay or is there something seriously wrong. I couldn't bring myself to push. Have I misunderstood what's going on?' So and you could see the exomphalus, this little pouch, which was obviously just the intestines where they are. In the case of a suspected abnormality, women should be seen for a second opinion by an expert in fetal ultrasound, such as a fetal medicine specialist. Tears started to roll down my face. So carried on with the plans, and, you know, planning for the, another baby to come along and then we went for a 20- week scan which is obviously the big one and very exciting, seeing all the arms and legs and once again everything was going fine, 'Look here's the baby, here's the length of baby'. But that was too easy. It felt so wrong. That was the first time I had heard him cry. And this baby sort of floated, and occasionally there was a slight movement, but it was very you could almost see that he was really poorly just from looking at the screen. But I was struggling mentally with the anguish, grief and endless hospital visits. Likely to have serious medical problems all his life. And it's, I can't remember exactly what it was now, it's about where the brain is supposed to form. Cardiac surgery can do some amazing things. For instance a couple who knew their baby was 'on the small size' were told he was fine at the 18-20 week scan, but discovered at 32 weeks that he had microcephaly. So we hid in our house. Maybe. The rarest scenario is that the baby is severely ill and choices will need to be made. In order for the sonographer to get good images of your baby, the scan is carried out in a dimly lit room. Our week-by-week PREGNANCY emails are a must for parents-to-be. It would have been nice to see someone straight away because I was in such shock. And the doctor - because it was a doctor rather then just the, a sonographer or whatever the correct term is - was scanning my wife, and she hovered over the heart of the baby and said, 'Oh there's the heart, we'll come back to that'. Trying to carry on as normal, working and putting on a brave face. The pain was excruciating, but nothing compared to how I felt inside. But even if I was there, I still think I would have wanted to see the detail on the scan. I used to think the feeling of your baby kicking inside you and the sight of a foot poking against your skin were the most fantastic things in the world. I swallowed the tablet and we left the building. My partner spent the weekend trying to convince me that things were OK. We had to discuss what we wanted to do with the little body after delivery. And the local hospital wanted to send us off to the regional hospital to actually confirm that, and were not really prepared to say at that time that there was something very seriously wrong. When he came back, he agreed on a termination. We must have had one before that as well, we must have had one before that, but it came back quite normal. Immediately I knew what decision we should take. After the triple test you stop thinking, you stop thinking that anything can go wrong. We had so much power, we could decide that this little thing should die. And I could see, before she even said anything I could see that there was something wrong with the heart. I felt sad, but not the complete devastation of the last scan as they had seen a change of some sort. So I took the test and jumped in the shower. In most cases the scan will show that your baby appears to be developing as expected but sometimes a condition is found or suspected. It doesn't remove the guilt, but I don't know what else to do. They said the brain was okay -, We were in there for a matter of minutes, literally -, In and out. Our position in our families has shifted. Try to relax and take it easy. If necessary, you will be referred to a specialist, possibly in another hospital. The results come in stages. We bought little outfits, teddies, and researched all the vitamins and foods that I could eat. Forcing my hand to my mouth to take the tablet was probably the hardest thing I have ever done. In fact, interestingly enough, going sort of. So we went home really and I sort of had to think about it all night. So we went home, me to rest in an attempt to prevent miscarriage, my partner to reassure us both. The midwife was on the verge of tears and I felt responsible. I had hope that the little bumps inside me were fighting just as much as I was to stay with me. I was becoming numb to the whole process. It was another consultant, who said, "I'm afraid I have some bad news - your baby has Down's syndrome." As two youngest siblings, we were both permanently stuck in the irresponsible, childish role. Went off for the 20-week scan, which you didn't, you weren't there, were you, for the first scan? And that, that was when things where it started going a bit wrong. The consultant at the time wasn't really that interested in that imagery. My baby might have Down's syndrome. Sometimes doctors will wait to give the baby more time to develop and carry out repeat scans - this had confused several parents we talked to who had gone for repeat scans not knowing that the baby might have a problem. Limitations of the 18-20 week scan
This time, they discovered the baby has a two vessel cord (only one vessel from placenta to baby instead of two) and I've been monitored to make sure the baby grows properly and kidneys aren't damaged. I went home feeling crushed; Sam and I both felt helpless. I went away and came back, and she couldn't get a good picture. 20 week scans look for 11 different anomalies as a rule, however, indicators (markers) are not terribly reliable and in all the literature I found, the targets set for stonographers look like they only pick up around 50% or less of these variants. The only thing you're thinking now is the birth, and what if something goes wrong in the birth? Thinking back, I don't know how we left without him. We were told to go to the hospital immediately. This short video explains screening for 11 physical conditions in pregnancy. I hadn't thought about the mechanics of such a late termination, but had assumed it would mean some kind of operation. I didn't sleep that night I don't think. I can't remember the exact words but she said, 'There might be some fatal problems with your baby'. I wasn't unduly worried at all. It's, I mean you can't tell from these scans what you're looking at really, but I remember thinking, 'it just doesn't look quite right' or something, but I didn't give it much thought. There was complete silence during the scan. She describes having to make a momentous decision very quickly, and the ferment of relief, guilt and grief that followed, Original reporting and incisive analysis, direct from the Guardian every morning. Not surprisingly, people aren't quite sure how to deal with me. An appointment should be arranged as soon as possible and ideally within three working days. And, so they sent me home at that stage because they said the specialist wasn't available till the following day, which was awful. The baby was very, very small. . I want to be nice again. Good luck has not come easily over the past few years. The people who did know what was going on seemed far too sure that we were doing the right thing, that there was really no choice to be made. Within two days I was waiting in my local EPU unit for further tests. If you choose not to have the scan you can still have all other parts of your routine antenatal care. This is not what I imagined pregnancy to feel like', Baby Loss Awareness Week - Voice Five - Bryony Seabrook. We left for home feeling completely numb. My partner went out with him, wanting to see him. Picture every packed football staduim up and down the country - all healthy pregnancies and births. I managed to tell my mum, who said she would come with us to the hospital. It is also sometimes referred to as the mid-pregnancy scan. It went from bad, to worse, to worse, to dire, then to better. Instinctively, did it feel right? My wife turned the screen away from her. Again, we weren't understood. Everywhere you look, there are happy, fat, smug pregnant women. The doctor explained the options I had to manage my miscarriage. For many other women, the 18-20 week scan was the point at which they discovered the baby had serious problems. I tried not to sit still for too long, because then I became too aware of the little thing inside me. We had amnio and then spent a week in absoute anguish waiting for the outcome which was no trisomies. I'd had the scan in the scanning room, I can't remember what they call it now, it's silly, it's gone from my head. You have accepted additional cookies. All my instincts were to protect my belly, yet here I was allowing someone to stick a huge needle into it. So at 20 weeks I went for my scan with my husband, with my daughter, to get our photographs. Life expectancy of 30 or 40. We also use cookies set by other sites to help us deliver content from their services. And nothing prepares you at all. And the next day we went back to the hospital and we had another scan with a specialist, and he confirmed it was a condition called holoprosencephaly, which I'd never heard of any of these words before, they were just such long words. All the time, the baby was kicking and I felt like a murderer waiting to strike her victim.