(Wriggle your hips) I am as happy as a tick on a big, fat doggy. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. Joshua Burns, "Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men." No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. It is a common belief that auto-responses are monotonous and boring. 17. Steven Wright (comedian). When a date's playing it hot and cold or you haven't heard from your crush in weeks, these witty ghosting responses will help you clear the air and your mind. 94. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! Reply. Have you met food? If youre not going to say anything nice, then dont say anything at all! No one loves superheroes. 1. 18. This one is funny when you havent said anything. 40. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. How do you usually respond to the question? When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. You know when you go to meet some friends, or friends of your friends, or to a party or whatever, when you meet someone new, at some point people ask you: "SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?" And what I wanted to do in this thread is list the craziest answers that you can give, you know, shock people or create an extremely awkard moment. Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. The way youre acting vs reality creates a juxtaposition that highlights their slowness. I always root for the little guy. In reality, they are not cool, they are just rude. I hope you are at your best too. 99. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. 1. 88. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. This one is bound to get a laugh. When I eat cake, I flip it upside-down just so I can lick the icing off the plate! 12. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. Funny responses to "How are you?" Photo courtesy of Canva. This does not seem right. I am high-quality, 100% plant-fed. Wondering How You Are 1 I'm Better on the inside than I Look on the outside This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. 5. Hemali Adhiya, ICF Certified Relationship Coach, Expertise: Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Hemali is an ICF-Certified ACC Level Life Coach with 3 years of experience in relationship, marriage, and grief coaching. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Sorry, life. The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers to this website may receive compensation for some links to products and services on this website. 8. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. Thats no excuse for treating someone like they dont exist, especially since 85% of participants said theyd rather be told upfront that someones not feeling it. This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. Maybe because I like pineapples on my pizza? "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Use the opportunity to make a good impression. Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a baseball bat. Happy, and I know it. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Im single by choice. Is your family tree a cactus? Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? I'm loved! The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." 39. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. Could Be Better. Your hair looks great! Try these OOO messages to let people know you're taking a break. 7. Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Is that a scar on your face? What Is A Micro Wedding And How To Plan It? But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! Things You Should Know about Birth Control Pills 62 Beautiful Makeup Inspos for Girls Who Are Not Afraid to Play with Color "Like an echo asking a shadow to dance on a mirage, this one is even funnier when an ugly person says, My friend always says "gooder". 52. Not everybody may appreciate them. Stellar, great, fantastic but dead inside. Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. I just adore my own company. 25. 8. 41. You may also like: 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. 97. Hello, how are you? I'm wondering how you are. How do you get it to curl out of your nostrils like that? Ill get back to you tomorrow when the results are in. Here are 55 funny coronavirus memes that will make you LOL. But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. can be tackled in some really interesting ways. But, because they have taken so long to reply, you have grown older and wiser. Should I consider that a marriage proposal from you? [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. Im sorry I hurt your feelings. And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! provided, of course, that he really is dead." My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. 62. Giving witty and interesting responses instead of the generic Im fine is often the smartest way to kickstart a nice conversation after the greeting How Are You?. 5. 78. Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. 93. 82. What should I doI like you too much. Choose one of these responses to inject some life into your monotonous chats. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. You are living proof that manure can learn to walk and talk. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. Ah, sarcasm. If you want, Ill give you a discount, baby. Whatever your thoughts on death may be, I hope you enjoy these random humorous quotes about mortality, death, and dying. I dont go around asking how youre still married, do I? Well, I have to go to work so Ill try and make the best of it. 50. Trying to remember the name of that weird person you remind me of. Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. When they play it cool, play it ice cold. Thats why Im single. 73. Read about the differences between burning alive, staying alive and being dead or alive as we explore the many ways of keeping ourselves in the land of the living. There are nosy people everywhere! You are shocked by his/her response, and you respond angrily "but what about me?". If ignorance barrel prices go up, I want drilling rights to his head. "Hey You, I'm really good. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. Whilst university does present some challenges, it does not mean you need to take several days to reply to a message.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_16',108,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[120,600],'grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_17',108,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-grammarhow_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-108{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:15px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:15px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:600px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. 100. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". On the plus side, a little humor injected into someones day can have a positive impact on their otherwise average day! Now I have a much lower opinion of you. 79. For example, when people expect you to say yes, you say no; when people wish you to say a big number, you give a tiny number. I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". WHY!? 53. Every civilisation has its genesis and its conclusion. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. Whether its the Roman empire or feudal society. Nevertheless, it can be a great approach to start a lively discussion! 10. Hey, whered you get that nose? It's best part of the whole movie. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! Thank you, it made my day. 14. So, it might be wise to double-check they're still alive before you complain. Even if life is rough, be happy that you're still alive. Thats because the person I like doesnt like me back. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. - Anonymous. Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. You just live. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. Same thing you're doing, talking to you now. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. 75. Why do you ask? Otherwise, we would still be with them today. Haha use this humorous response to make someone laugh-you never know, you just might brighten their day. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. Reply. Another excuse that people use is Im just hoping in the shower. 9 Best Ways To Ask Someone To Talk On The Phone, 9 Other Ways to Say Im Good At on a Resume, 10 Polite Ways to Say No Visitors after Surgery, 11 Best Ways to Say Im Here for You to a Loved One, 10 Professional Ways to Say I Am Not Feeling Well. In a coma, you still have brain function, which doctors can measure by observing electrical activity and your reactions to external stimuli. 45. Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Photo by Glenna Rankin on reshot 02 "It has been a while since I've heard from you, and at this point, I'm over it." 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), 31+ Good Comebacks to Use in an Argument With a Girl, Roommate Is Always in Living Room (How To Resolve This), Roommate Brings Unwanted Guests Home! 2. Then they throw dirt in your face. Here's a 13-second video explaining how Jennifer Lawrence uses this Surprise Theory: Who knows, they might just do it. 43. 1. Check out the following infographic for some practical tips to maintain a conversation and take it forward.SaveIllustration: StyleCraze Design Team. It's quite the accomplishment. Then the worms eat you. At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. Rotting flesh is less offensive than you. She works with her clients to help them evolve in their problem areas and find new meaning in their lives, thus finding the best versions of themselves. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? My day was fine, it was everything else that was the problem. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. But Ive also had better. 15. What? To answer those who know you and the situation you're going through, use these replies. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". Youre totally on the same page. 74. The answer is simple. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. Because Id rather be alone than put up with someones sh*t! 15. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]. (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! The friendly ghost would never leave you hanging. The living are getting rarer. Eugene Lonesco (playwright), Dying is easy; its living that scares me to death. Annie Lennox (musician), If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the UP button. Sam Levenson (humorist), Ive looked that old scoundrel death in the eyes many times but this time I think he has me on the ropes. Douglas MacArthur (general), Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner (playwright), The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades, especially if your teammates are bad guessers. Demetri Martin (comedian), I intend to live forever or die trying. Groucho Marx (comedian), Death is a very dull, dreary affair, and my advice to you is to have nothing whatsoever to do with it. William Somerset Maugham (author), The art of dying graciously is nowhere advertised in spite of the fact that its market potential is great. Milton Mayer (author), At my age, I do what Mark Twain did.