Delivery type: Vaginal that progressed to C-section. When they were out (it was 2am after all), HE WAITED FOR THEM TO BREW A FRESH POT. That was a mistake. (Dont even ask about our planning ability! 3. Well, watched is a bit strong, but it was on the entire time! So there are nights of going to bed and retreating to our own sides of the bed. Pet Behavior. Hubby went home to get a good nights rest the night I got induced. I dont remember anything I said or did after that. When they called my room at 3 am to go nurse her, my husband declined to go with me because he was just so tired after everything that happened that day. Someone who drinks 5 drinks a night to "unwind" after work and is defending that decision in the face of being incapacitated for their pregnant wife has a drinking problem. husband drunk when i went into labor. -- A pregnant doctor unexpectedly went into early labor while delivering another woman's child. My husband decided the ideal time to invite his parents into the labor & delivery room was when I was laying spread eagle, everything out for the world to see, being stitched up by the doctor after our son was born. Needless to say, he was NOT happy about that statement but I don't care. The best way to cope with your stress and maintain a positive attitude is to stay focused on your goals and avoid situations that may trigger the urge to drink. I have to say that he was horrified. Laughing gas has been widely available for laboring women in other countries, and it's finally making its way to hospitals and . I come into the living room and give her a kiss. Because she was in labor, he should have endured what, no food, no water, no bathroom, what is good enough? So I called him to tell him to hurry and get there. Thank you! Good grief you have issues. Glad she was there for you. Hopefully our midwife keeps him in line. Jackass. My wife had a 24 hour labor that ended up in an emergency c-section. I told him if I missed my epidural window I would end his life. The biggest sign that the bloody show has occurred is you may notice a bloody mucus discharge from your vagina. When I insisted that it in fact had broken, he asked me if i was sure, and how did i know. I was so exhausted. All I could do at that point was laugh. OP is due very soon with her 4th child - her second with her husband - and he's rarely at home. While bringing the note over they saw his truck and had to go bang on our bedroom window to wake my stupid husband up. We checked into the hospital at 7am, they started pitocin by 8am, and he only stepped out of the room twice (to smoke :boo:) until 8pm when E was born. For my last birth and for this one I have been an hour away from the hospital. Reach out to rescue them only when they seek out help. Probably because I threatened him with bodily harm if he didnt. With my first I called my then husband to tell him my water broke, he asked if I could drive myself to the hospital so he didnt have to leave work. He needed to get directions to the hospital. -Stephanie, My husband started throwing up while I was pushing. Eileen, My husband went duck hunting and forgot to charge his cell phone. Ive got girlfriends who pretty much just lay it all on the table. If you want to read all 237 responses (and YOU DO), click here. July 2015 Answer . All I can think of is - How in the world did you get pregnant? She drives me to my place, which looks surreal in the morning light. and my water broke at 2am so I tried calling him to tell him to come back. One suggestion was to bring food just in case I delivered in the middle of the night and the cafeteria was closed (everyone said Id be STARVING after delivery). I wish men weren't so stupid about some things. -Amy, At 3am, I decided it was time to go and my husband said he was getting up to get ready. These are only a few of the symptoms that a person may have a problem with drinking. So, while I was practically under our bed from being doubled over in pain, looking at his watch, he said, I think you need to be more in tune with your body.. Here are 10 ways of dealing with an alcoholic husband: Wondering how you should be dealing with an alcoholic husband? Im so fed up that I almost want a divorce. I would have the conversation when he isn't drinking and is in a good mood. I asked for all the ridiculous stuff your husbands pulled while you were in labor. Im sure his parents saw far more than they ever hoped to see, and Ive never let him live it down. This will help you keep them out of trouble and save you from embarrassing situations. So, that's the fvcked up part. So, instead of trying to take control of everything, just wait for them to accept that they have a problem and need help. I think there should be another thread about crap husands pull after the baby is born. Be an advocate. So when I couldnt reach him for 40 min, I freaked out. Using alcohol is not an appropriate way to cope with stress. When my DH was starting up his business last year we were going through huge financial stress he would often have 2-3 beer over a day. -Lucy, About 30 minutes after our son was born (a full 24 hours of labor) my husband told me he was going to head home for a bit because he was exhausted. From funny to divorce-worthy to I-would-totally-understand-if-your-husband-turned-up-dead,here are 28 of my favorite examples of Crap Husbands Pull While Their Wives are in Labor. At 9 am, contractions really kicked in and still no hubby. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. Husband, I swear by my ugly faded hospital gown, I will end you. You might also explain that it's his baby too, he may want to remember the event. I'm currently 38+2 days pregnant and expected to go into labour anytime as this is my 4th baby. Your water better not break on my leather seats!. The only challenge that arises at that moment is neither your husband needs your help at that very moment nor youre a professional counselor. What would you do? Whos really stupid? When I was in labor with my second, I waited at home until I couldnt stand it anymore because I didnt want to be in the hospital for hours in labor like I was with my first. No matter how much you date a person before marriage, some things are revealed afterward. She re-positioned the monitor and the needle was off both sides of the page. He will have a beer or two these days, but knows not to get drunk during my last few weeks of pregnancy. This is not an average, it is the maximum recommended amount for any given day. He came home around 5 when my contractions were about 2 minutes apart and proceeded to watch tv and eat dinner. Either way, the amniotic sac surrounding the baby has broken, and your kid is on the way. -Tifffany, My husband took so many pictures of himself in the scrubs and mask (obviously super important to document) the camera battery was almost dead when we actually had the baby! Exercise. With our second things went pretty well. It sounds like you and your H are both in denial (as apparently are a few other posters on this thread). After our first they were sewing me up from some tearing. If you liked this post, follow Mommy Shorts on Facebook. I had trauma to the right side of my abdomen and hip area, have muscle spasms in the regular to this day, five years later, and my incision looks crazy. I think he needs a friend intervention - sounds like he would not listen to you. He was about 4 minutes from the hospital but after 20 minutes he stillhadnt shown up. I was only at the hospital for two hours before she arrived. For instance, Mike made me wait in the lobby of our building while he went to get a cup of coffee from the bodega across the street. The nurse made eye contact w/me, raised her eyebrows, and then lead him to the monitor to explain what was what, lol. Dear all, I'm 18 weeks pregnant and since becoming pregnant my husband has got incoherently drunk 3 times (unable to talk etc). I could barely walk for a week after the c section, my normal recovery time for that is two days. First, would he normally drive after 5 drinks? With my second I was in labor through the night, his dad kept asking if he could go home to sleep because I didnt need him there, he missed his bed and the hospital staff was disrupting his sleep. I like the suggestion that if he's buzzed, he's not invited into the delivery room, and HE has to call his folks to explain why THEY need to drive me to the hospital. Life with an alcoholic husband is tough. It can vary widely. 14 Things to Do With Kids in NYC When Its Super Cold Outside, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the East Village, The Mommy Shorts Guide to the Meatpacking District, 11 Sweet Places for a Kid-Friendly Dessert Date in NYC, Harlows Hip Hop Class is the Perfect Palette Cleanser to Last Nights Debate. When it comes to dealing with an alcoholic husband in denial, speaking to them about the issue in length seems a better option. After 30 hours of labor, it was time to go to the hospital and my husband informs me that he needs to run across the street to get his hair cut and I have the number if I need him. I HAVE to join in here. Not only is he really annoying when buzzed, which will piss me off and make my pain and anxiety higher, but he can't drive! For the rest of her births, she delivered at home with midwives. He normally goes to the pub every Friday, not too late. Thank you TokenI think im in love with you! The local McDonald's owner, Steve Akinboro, rewarded . Nitrous oxide, a.k.a. My mom would have been my birth coach. He called the hospital and they said theyd call him as soon as anything happened. But, in the long run, the denial mode is not going to work at all. My husband and I were so excited that we jumped right into action. ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** I had some see threw jammies to wear home >.<. I couldnt reach my call light, or my chapstick to throw at him, and he wasnt responding to me whisper shouting at him. A few other symptoms are: Drinking early in the morning. When in labor, every woman becomes bitchy for the reason that she is in tremendous pain, moron! I suppose I should give him credit for being there at least. So, I felt it and tried to ignore it. Away." In hindsight, I love having pictures from the delivery room. He went back to sleep. I'm guesing it's pretty important. We didnt go to bed until midnight. If we go anywhere and he has more than 2 drinks I drive home. -Kate, Right after my c-section, my husband asked the nurse in the recovery room if he could just lay down on the floor, saying I promise I wont be in the way. I'm worried, because I NEED a good labor coach to achieve my goal of a natural birth, but if the whole process begins with me being incredibly pissed at a buzzed DH, I will fail. That is almost word for word what happened to me.except that I didnt push mine outI had an emergency c-section, so I had to push a wheelchair very slowly down the hall to get to the nicu to nurse because I couldnt walk without support, and I couldnt make the wheelchair go on my own while sitting in it. With this next one, were doing a home birth, so no monitors, but I still anticipate him being so busy talking that hes not really focused on me. Rachell, I was in labor all night and ready to go in the morning. Then I proceeded to time them for an hour (so he could continue sleeping). Dad learned something very important about the fathers role in childbirth that day. I know the baby could come anytime now but I can't really worry too much about it or it will just make me worry more. Awww come on, suck it up. https://americanaddictioncenters.org/alcoholism-treatment/spouse, https://www.verywellmind.com/things-to-stop-if-you-love-an-alcoholic-67300, https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/alcohol, 5 effects of living with an alcoholic husband, Dealing with an alcoholic husband: 10 ways. When he finally woke up to go pee, I asked him for some ice chips and he told me he was tired and was just going to go back to sleep. And that he has a choice to make but if he wants to "risk" drinking each night then that's his problem if he isn't there. He thinks he's being 110% supportive, and says he will, but just drinking when I could go into labor any day is NOT supporting IMO. to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. 10000% this. It's annoying, but it's not like he sits down and pounds hard alcohol or something. I had just had twins by emergency c-section, 6 weeks early. It was our first child. Limited-Time Deal on Marriage Course. Mum had gone in to hospital and he was working. She gives me her phone number . -Jessica, My husband unabashedly complained about a canker sore while I was in labor. We went for a lot of walks. We had time though E was scheduled to be induced and, although I didnt realize it, I was actually in labor the whole night before. I wanted him to leave so I could have peace! The love and support of your family can help you cope during this difficult time and give you the encouragement you need to get back on track. Its just like this all the things men do wrong only it was just one man, My man, so dont nobody try to take him! This happened to my friend. According to the World Health Organisation. My husband said that I should be more in pain, but I convinced him that we should still go to the hospital to get it checked, and that the worst thing that could happen was to get sent home. I'll talk to him tomorrow. Second baby he was pretty good, except for when I would have a contraction (went through natural labors each time, no epidural, very little IV medication), he would look at the screen and say wow, that one went off the charts! and I would say you dont have to say that each time, Im going through it! (More on my adorable new nephew later this week.). My husband fell in a deep sleep and would not wake up to me calling him. Sandals and flip flops are not recommended, especially if a situation arises where you may have to go into an operating room. Okay. The longer you hide your head in the sand the bigger the issue will get. When I was born my Dad was on a fishing trip. He said he felt so guilty and was terrified he was going to get pulled over. He almost passed out and had his own team of nurses and MY midwife helping him. fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen We get down to the car and he gets in the passenger side! He went home to sleep in our bed so he could get some rest. Your scenario of DH's drinking hits so close to home for me. Plenty of men AND women have demanding and stressful jobs and do not need to hit the bottle to deal with it on a regular nightly basis.they remain present with their partners and families, and find non-self-destructive ways to deal with stress. Here are 12 Natural Ways to Induce Labor. At 2am I finally was in some relief from my epidural and was hoping to MAYBE take a nap before go time. DH managed to get to the hospital after his work in time to give me a quick kiss and be kicked out for delivery. Pregnant . I gotta say my husband was good in the delivery room, but I have a whole piece written up about the birth of our 1st, which includes a lot more crap he pulled like hitting every pot hole on the way from out apt to the hospital in Midtown but its way longer than a blog post & when I tried to publish it no one was interested. Luckily, I had the exact opposite experience . Some places test moms for COVID-19 at 36 to 38 weeks or before they undergo a C-section, while others don't test at all or do it when a case of the virus is suspected. Alcoholism is quite difficult to catch during the initial few meetings, but by the time you get to know about it, it is too late. In the car, everything was very annoying to me: the radio, the sound of my husband at the time talking on the phone, just everything. I explained that his drinking like this gives me anxiety and I want our little baby brought into a happy, stress free world. Hes pretty lucky the epidural finally kicked in halfway through their lunch date! I agree not to do it when he's about to grab a drink because then he will just get irritated with you. Posted 6/9/10. You will have to work together, as a team if you want to come out of the situation. It was about 11:30 am when we finally made it to the hospital (which was on the other side of town) and after being examined by the nurse, was told I was going to have my child later that evening (at about 6 pm)! With our third, he asked me to stretch out the pushing for 55 minutes so he would win the money pot at work. My hubby has a habit of drinking a lot (over 5 drinks in an evening) after a rough day at work, and I'm worried I'll go into labor, and he'll be extremely buzzed. Every birthday growing up I heard about the stupid thing my Dad did when I was born. These are all way worse than mine, but my husband insisted that my then 19 hours of labor was not *real* labor because my contractions were not evenly spaced apart like the book says and did not think it was necessary for me to go to the hospital when I could no longer stand the pain. I said we didnt have that kind of time that Id gone from 5cm-8cm in 35 minutes. I guess I was just a little worn out from the AGONIZING LABOR AND DELIVERY OF YOUR CHILD THAT I JUST ENDURED YOU-F&!KING-MORON-WHO-DECIDED-TO-EAT-POPEYES!!. Many people who struggle with alcoholism are reluctant to accept treatment on their own. Guys like you make it possible for guys like me to find great women and kids. I was a journalist for five years. 5 drinks a night sounds like a problem bigger than just worrying about having a sober ride to the hospital. Let's get right into it- the top ways to make labor come faster after losing your mucus plug: 1. Youre not to take it and should face it with confidence. All parents have had to worry about this, I am sure you will be able to find someone who is willing to help you out. Im in labor! Only when you will make them realize that it is a problem and it puts you in an awkward position afterward. A. Dear Amy: I am 63 and my husband (of six years) is 67. Many, many people struggle with this same issue, and there is help available if he chooses to use it. He's in sales and always has social work meetings where drinks are served, too, which doesn't help. Im late to the party but here is a story for you My daughters dad (who fortunately I had the good sense never to marry) kept his distance from me the last month or so of my pregnancy, which probably is what kept me from delivering in prison, but he wanted to be at the hospital for the birth. He was much better with our sons birth though even cleaned up after me when I puked in the basin I still hold that first time against him though! Its a disorder or an, How to Deal With Someone Who Blames You for Everything, 15 Ways How to Have Self-Control in a Relationship. So I stand behind some, I never said all, of these comments are just bitchy. Wondering how to deal with an alcoholic spouse? She told all of the nurses to shut up and leave as she recovered. I cleaned the house again. When a child is born, act up, misbehaves, it is still our child. After 19 hours of back labor and an emergency c-section, my ex went bowling with his parents. The men or the women that married men like the ones referenced in the comments? It also gives you a sense of control and confidence when you are working with your husband or partner on recovery.