If you’re reaching out to your ex (texting, emailing, or calling) or obsessively checking their social media profile (all. I do think it's pretty sketchy if a person is on bad terms with all of their exes, but I don't think it's necessary to stay BFFs after a breakup. For example, if your ex still tries to reminisce with you about the good times you shared together or hints at the idea of you two reuniting later on in life, they're probably not over the breakup. AskWomen: A subreddit dedicated to asking women questions about their thoughts, lives, and experiences; providing a place where all women can comfortably and candidly share their responses in a non-judgmental space. The first option seems positive on the surface, but there’s a reason you broke up and it’s probably a good one. 10. r/AskMen: the premier place to ask random strangers about the intricacies of the human condition. I said absolutely not- not because I wasn't over it, but because I don't want to be friends with someone who treats people that way. The Long Goodbye ex-sex is really a way to grieve, heal, and say goodbye together when you both know it's … If you’re looking for signs your ex will eventually come back, you’re just in the right place! There’s still a little bit of trauma that you… I do think that after several years after you both have moved on a simple ‘hello, how are you’ is fine, but only if you … You can't keep being dependent on your ex after you've split. If you believe your girlfriend is still smitten by her ex or is having second thoughts about getting back with him, talk about it with your girlfriend. If you're at a friend's party, and there are many friends of your ex … I was only answering the question, sorry if you disagree with me??? There's no real point. If you broke up a while ago, and your ex still hasn't asked for their favorite hat back, it could mean they've just forgotten — or it could be … And then I do something really, really stupid. it's always easier to offer relationship advice than to take it, i swear. If you’re getting random texts here and there asking about your day and making small talk in general, then your ex is probably texting you because they still have feelings for you and need to talk to you. Rather than tell you that they want to break up, the person simply disengages as though you no longer exist and you are left … If you're wondering "will I ever hear from my ex again," I may have some good news for you. Following your own good advice is hard, dude, I totally feel for you. Now obviously I'm not following my own advice and it will end up pretty bad at some point (for me) but that's irrelevant! They need to take care of their own crap, and if you keep talking, you'll just reassure them that it … If your ex texts you during no contact this is what you should say to them in order to preserve your power and keep them missing you. (Which he ended up not doing because he was uncomfortable with it). Do not hook up with your ex if you’re not 100% over the relationship. He tells me each time they talk (once a year) and asked for my opinion when she wanted to meet up with him for coffee when she was in town. I don’t care how strong you are: The day will come when you compare someone new to your ex, and that day will come a lot sooner and more frequently if you are still talking to your ex. I agree. Not really. Giving him space conveys the exact opposite message: you're … If your ex just wants to be friends, they won't bat an eye when you mention all the Tinder dates you've gone on recently. Weirdly, whether we like it or not, exes do this all the time– and it’s important not to automatically decide that your ex wants you back. Does it make you feel insecure? Anything serious I've ended up mostly severing contact. Honest question: What if a past relationship ended terribly? Even if your ex is still (to the best of your knowledge) single, the psychotherapist warns against another scenario in which it's perhaps not the best idea to reach out. :) yeah, as long as the exes are nice to him, respectful of him, and have something to talk about other than their lives together when they were dating. That said, continuing to speak, or hearing that your ex is talking about you doesn’t necessarily mean that their feelings for you have returned…. Doesn't help the ol' self esteem and is something in the back of your mind when entering something new. As far as regularly seeing or talking to each other I doubt anything good would come of it. They still talk like you’re still in a relationship and/or act like you owe them contact, a response, your time etc. "Some people think that if you miss your ex , you’re not over them. But I've had bad experiences where my exes would hold this secret hidden flame for their ex and have these long intimate convos with them without my knowledge. Still no, but it's tempting. Of course, they can’t just admit it. As part of our commitment to that mission, the AskWomen subreddit is curated to promote respectful and on-topic discussions, and not serve as a debate subreddit. I do think it's pretty … Even if you respond in a disgruntled way, it still gives them an opportunity to connect with you. He's friends with his previous girlfriends before her, though. They will talk to your mutual friends and talk about you all the time. It’s not fair to you or your next love to be still involved with an ex. Should You Talk to Your Ex? the. I remember when I was able to delude myself into believing that someone actually cared about the wretch that I am, that someone actually preferred the world with me in it once. If he prohibits me from meeting the exes or participating in events where the exes are there (or, frankly, any of his friends, not just exes) I would find that deceptive. You are their favourite topic. So I distanced myself for their sake. But the truth is, they still have a lot of feelings for you. Sorry to hear you went through that. You are their favourite topic. Some of them. You would tell your friends if their ex missed them, so they'll do the same for you. How do you know if an ex still thinks about you? It's not like I have to be there to monitor them or anything, but saying I'm not allowed, would be weird. Other times, it’s a feeling of validation (OK, they do still miss me after all). I mean - never enthusiastic about it - but fine with it. If you're still thinking about your ex and have feelings for them, hoping that it will all work out, then sex with an ex is a bad idea. I think people should generally be friendly with their exes, but you don't necessarily have to be best friends with them. Most experts agree: you should not reach out to your ex unless you hope to salvage a treasured friendship. You can stay in touch if it doesn't make moving on difficult for the people involved. Seeing your ex’s name pop up on your phone can produce a visceral reaction, like the one Glantz mentioned above. You can't keep being dependent on your ex after you've split. As long as they're not redeveloping a sexual relationship I don't see any problem. Adults can cut and then regain contact. Cut off contact . Both parties feel sad for losing the other person, even if things weren't all that happy when you ended things. Sometimes for some people, they can make it work or they even end up together, but I am more of a one and done type when it comes to relationships. If it's chatting now and then, whatever. It's not about "insecurity" or anything like that, it's about boundaries and appropriateness, which, in my view, talking with exes is not. See, to me, that's odd. For me I only date people I like spending time with. In our collective view, there is no need for that and I'd rather focus on something productive, than muddy waters. I said I'd agree, I should be able to get a better trophy girl. You may want to deny that your ex misses you and still cares about you, but you should trust that your friends care about you, too. So while you’re watching for signs that he’s getting over you, keep an eye out for these huge signs that your ex still loves you. It’s important to understand why you want to know why you want to talk to your ex again because it will enable you design a proper plan of action, and it will help you determine if talking to them is going to help you! Dating can be complicated, and when attempting to decide whether you should reconnect with a companion, there are often shades of grey. The boyfriend is not even going to know she is even talking to an ex. And I'm generally pretty uncomfortable with the whole, "Sure, you can be friends with them, but I won't allow you to discuss topics X, Y and Z" thing. Well, good luck finding out all of that stuff without looking at the phone. When it comes to how to get your ex to talk to your ex again, it’s all about being up-lifting. The people that have hurt me, nah, they can stay away from me. If you love yourself, people will love you, including your ex. That's what your friends are for. I don't love it, but it's a me thing and I know I don't actually have any say in who he talks to, plus I trust him, so it's not something I make a big deal about. My new qt3.14bf isn't friends with his most recent ex because their relationship just went through one of those periods of endless stress (dog died, she lost her job, her relative died, major car trouble, every month was something new for like 5 months) as she was having depression onset and it got rather codependent and ended pretty badly because of the stress and everything. … New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. She said she's happy how her life turned out, now that we're not together. My Girlfriend (20f) is still talking her abusive ex even though I (22m) have said I’m uncomfortable with it. Rather, they'll be happy, and might even wish you well. Never. Not really. Threats – Your ex is threatening to “move on” if you do not make up your mind and take them back. 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